i still can't figure out what hurts a guy? the degree of their sensitiveness? how they overwrite their feelings from old relationships with new ones? do they even have tear-gland?

as for me, i always cultivate this, a girl should uphold their dignity because that's the only significance and power we have. A man often assume,  girls will always have the tendency to lose in every aspect of life, well, damn right that's true. It's the nature of man to step one level ahead then a lady. When a man is successful, they are deem as powerful, hopeful etc but when a lady is successful, they're a threat? yes, it's never fair when talking about life but it's the cycle and inevitably, we're in it. So ladies, eventhough we are the prime victim in aspects like relationships, work etc there is one thing that a guy would even bleed tears to beg from us. I don't need to say it. Uphold that. Even after you accidentally step over boundaries, you can still change. i was not a good person in the past but my brain roots mature and i've changed. No one has the right to judge even if they do, take their form of criticism as a motivator and improve. that is why when there is past, there is future. i always take my past as a mistake, present as a lesson learnt and future, a changed person.

PS: it's never too late for a change. the question now, are you ready to adapt to changes?

It's fine to make mistake because that's when you learn but even so, it doesn't mean that it has to be habitual. you make one mistake, you learn and you get over it, that's the cycle. But ladies, have you ever felt like you have to emphasize, ".. THAT'S A MISTAKE SO STOP FUCKING REPEATING IT, WILL YOU! "?

Guys, i know some of you are lost in between how to handle a lady and not getting their feelings hurt in the midst right? Well, i can't deny that fact because we are actually figuring it out ourselves but one thing for sure however tough it could be, there's one thing that will satisfy us, don't pitch our hope to high by lying to our face and blatantly say you loved us when your heart is denying it word for word. we hold your words and that is why we give our heart so easily because however impenetrable a woman could be, once you penetrate through the pores, veins, heart with adamant persuasion, you'll find a delicate creature named feelings that diffuses love all over. don't kill a woman's feeling by lying. Man up guys, if your feelings halt, say it but don't put it bluntly, just be more sensitive and honest, explain yourself. And ladies, you'll have to face the fact and remember that you cannot force love because not everything is written based on what you want.  Probably his name is not in your book of fate so tough it may be, let it go. Just cry it off for that matter and with time, you're healed.

PS : It takes half your dating life to get over your relationship. Eg; 2 years dating, 1 year healed after break-up.

Some fantasies just stays as fantasies and fantasy is a fantasy for a reason. It just somehow makes you feel good and lift a tinge of hope that a certain circumstance does exist eventhough deep down you know that it's not genuine because this world is too realistic to fake it. Nothing is as beautiful as fantasy. Nonetheless, however old you are, search yourself, there's still a 7-year old you in yourself which always dreamt of the perfect guy, no?

him?                                                                                                                                                                                                                          i wouldn't say his perfect but he's just like, '..sugar, spice and everything nice' . this is the only metaphor i could relate to. *giggles*

But ladies, can i give you one advice, don't give your heart and soul to a guy after you've only known him for, one year? two years or some 4 years just like i did. He broke me too many times but i don't know where the patience and willpower in me came from. Guys will always be guys, they have this power that is transparent to our eyes.One common scenario,  if they say, physique is not the centre of attraction, your answer has to be, kick them in their crouch so hard that they vomit a little and tell them that these pick-up lines are as old as Channel 12 before Mediacorp and bail.

So, a reminder, unless you know he will alter his roots for the better and he's the one for you, BAIL!

You tried, i doubt but it's proven and i thank you for that. This is how i sentenced us. Being with you, it seems so simple now. i've learnt too much being in this relationship, one thing fer' sure, never flagged your hope too high and believe in possibilities. we both carry heavy loaded baggages that is full of mistakes, lessons, dark past etc but it's never an excuse. today may not be the highlight of my week but it certainly is special in a way, our anniversary. just you. just me. contemplating. promise. hopes. For the efforts you make to alter, i thank you for that. you don't have to be romantic, touchy-feely, being all corny, just stay. i love the way you are and if you be someone else, i fret that i might not love you the way i love zaki.

love,

Nyra.K

; if you must know, i am who i am for reason.

hello,

yes yes, the same thing over again, i'm sooooo busy and shoving work aside is inevitable and a huge NO NO NEVER. and i'm a business woman if you must  know (: so, guilty bugged me to blog but excuse just hinder it all the way but now i've killed it and i totally nailed it so now here i am squinting my sleepy eyes.

you missed out on numerous events that i did, the first was camping with Z, it went well but the weather was so unforgiving. i couldn't sleep the whole time i was there cos' even past midnight, i was still perspiring. At one point, i really felt like gg home. but the first night was kinda short so it still feels so-so. And the story goes ....

First Night,

~continue when isee you again ~

"...the nightline concealing the penetration of the sun. The breeze, swiping through the tress and leaves cackle as the wind wallop all over it. You, me and them sauntering alongside the ripple waiting to stumble on the right sight.."                                                                                                                                         ~Nyra.K

too chim? haha! On a simpler note, friday is the day!  we are gonna pitch the tent under the blanket of the night sky at changi beach. meeting him at simei at around 11pm and off we go to the beach, sleeping there till sunday night! I think i should practice this on every month-sary, what do you think abg boncet? ohhhh friday, cepat-cepat sampai lah please, we nak rehat !

zaky's last off days of the month falls on the 28th /09  which is last 3 days ago? omg, if only yknow how shagged i am the past few days, running like mad dog from work to tutoring. i have been counting the days to his off day bcos its my off day toooo so we could hang out. i have this gadget on my desktop to help me do the counting. the gadget will prompt me for the target time and description example "....5 more days until death" hahaha. kinda' sorta' like that.

the last we met was on the 18th sept and our next date was on the 28th sept so 10days of fucking not meeting him! walan! i was craving for beach breeze so we head down to changi beach with all the fooddddssss. the breeze was beautiful but ! the ants and a few other alienic insects was keeping us busy! siol betol. we were sitting under a withering tree so when leaves fell while i was lying down, i yell ! bcos the leaves like one huge insects with the weird details on it. eeeeeyuuuuu! zaky asek terperanjat je when i pekik2. hahahah!

PS did i snore when i was sleeping at the beach?